Mum: Why is your room always so messy?
Me: So that if someone comes in and tries to kill me, they'll trip over something and die.
Kids at my school: I like to smoke weed and get high and I also like to smoke cigarettes.
Me: Sometimes when it's cold, I like to breathe really heavy and pretend i'm a dragon.
Mom: I’m going now, I want the house clean when...
ilikecatsbutnotobsessively: You: Yeah, sure thing. Next hour and a half… And then your mom calls to say she’ll be home in 15 minutes…
-makemesmile: roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts
Friend: Oh my god I read a book once that had a sex scene in it was so weird.
Friend: Have you ever read anything like that?
Me: No ew that's gross what sort of disgusting human being do you think I am how dare you accuse me of such a thing.
me: *puts earphones in*
me: oh right
me: *plays music*
11 more days and school will be done. then i’ll be able to spend every week in washburn with brandon :)
That awkward moment when you think about the...
WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH THAT COW?!
the bromance relationships
ijustwannabeme-kayelozier: kenzie0yeah: Larry is the Sex-Crazed Couple Lilo is the Abusive Couple but still loves each other Lirry is the Couple That Acts Like 5 Year Olds Narry is the Puppy Love Couple Niam is the Loving Couple Nouis is the On & Off Couple Zarry is the Passionate Couple Ziall is the Sweet Couple Ziam is the...
if i was a doctor
hot guy: i sprained my wrist
me: okay take off your underwear
i'm making an 'i care' page. my 'i care' page will...
brandon’s in a sad mood and it’s bringing me down knowing that i cant do anything about it bc he’s working til 8 tonight.. :’(
Mom: I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR ATTITUDE